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Sigmund Freud posited that individuals often experience strong attraction toward their same-sex parents, a phenomenon typically repressed upon resolving the Oedipus complex. However, he noted that this resolution might not always be complete. He further argued that societal taboos against same-sex attraction and early parental interactions shape heterosexuality.
The Hungarian psychoanalyst Sandor Ferenczi proposed that the aversion, hostility, and disgust often exhibited by heterosexual men towards male homosexuality are, in reality, defensive reactions stemming from an underlying attraction to the same sex.
Furthermore, the term “homophobia” was introduced by American psychologist George Weinberg. It is characterized as encompassing negative behaviors, feelings, and attitudes towards sexual diversity and individuals identified or perceived as belonging to the LGBTQ+ community. This includes the fear of being close to queer people.
If We Knew Them Closely, We Might Understand Them
Waeda, aged 41, shared with Muwatin, “Since my teenage years, I’ve always seen myself as quite open-minded. Initially, I viewed same-sex attraction as an aberration and something frowned upon by religion, having never encountered any real-life examples.”
She continued, “However, as I matured and expanded my understanding of the world through the internet, I became acquainted with the concept of homosexuality. It didn’t take up much room in my thoughts at that time. I discovered within myself a belief in the freedom to choose one’s path, regardless of whether one is a man or a woman. I realized it was not my place to judge or be involved in any way. I came to view it as a matter of personal freedom.”
They question my mother, 'Why does your daughter dress like that? Make sure she doesn't prefer girls.' It's a relentless daily ordeal. And then there's the outcry and commotion I face when entering public restrooms. Mistaken for a male, I now ensure they're empty before I go in to avoid causing any disturbance!
Waeda’s perspective on homosexuality was put to the test when she encountered a personal experience. “I met an Iraqi friend online through a poetry writing blog. Between 2006 and 2010, we shared our writings there. After a period of absence from the blog and Facebook, she returned about a year later to tell me that she had emigrated to Canada with her partner. They are gay and in love, and she left me completely free to decide whether to accept or decline her friend request.”
She elaborates, “Without much hesitation, I accepted the request and embraced my friend’s way of life, affirming to her that it was her personal freedom. This acceptance didn’t alter our relationship in the slightest. We continued to exchange views on various topics and shared details about our lives.”
She wraps up, “I’ve grown more attuned to the nuances of homosexuality and am careful to discuss it objectively on platforms like Facebook, should the need arise. My aim is to ensure I never inadvertently express an opinion that could hurt my friend.”
Arwa, a 32-year-old writer, engineer, and mother of two, points to fear of the unfamiliar or unconventional as the root of homophobia. “The aspect of homosexuality that seems to frighten people the most, prompting their opposition, is the concern that it might influence their children,” she observes.
In her conversation with Muwatin, she explained, “Initially, I found the concept objectionable, but my perspective shifted when I realized that homosexuality has been a part of human history. This understanding helped me to accept gay individuals, recognizing that their sexual practices are private matters that don’t concern anyone else. Although I harbor no animosity towards them, I do find myself taken aback when I meet someone gay in passing, but I maintain a non-judgmental stance.”
Fear of Stigmatization
Navigating the complexities of forming a healthy, integrated identity amidst pervasive negative stereotypes and evident prejudice presents a significant challenge for gay and lesbian youth, often in the absence of family or social support.
This apprehension regarding stigmatization is echoed in a narrative shared by Rawan, 29, with Muwatin about a close friend who frequently vacillated before confiding in her. “He would often hint at disclosing a significant secret to me the next day, only to retract his statement. Eventually, he revealed that he identified with a character from a TV series whom his family would disapprove of upon discovering his truth. Curious, I watched the series to uncover his secret. Initially, I was taken aback, but recognizing him as a kind and respectable person alleviated my concerns.”
She further recounted, “The following day, when we met at college, he seemed apprehensive, fearing I might not accept him. However, our friendship only grew stronger after that conversation. He began to share stories about me with his gay friends, who envied him for having a friend outside the LGBTQ+ community who not only understood and listened to his worries and fears but also loved him just as he was. Most significantly, I didn’t see him as someone with a psychological disorder in need of treatment.”
Commenting on this matter, Mohsen Awad, a 31-year-old psychiatrist using a pseudonym and who chose to remain anonymous, remarked, “As we approach 2024, it’s disheartening to see that many still view homosexuality as a disease or mental disorder in need of treatment. The reality is that the scientific and medical communities have moved past this misconception for decades. The American Psychiatric Association took a significant step by removing homosexuality from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) back in 1973. Following that, in 1975, they issued a statement declaring unequivocally that homosexuality does not constitute a mental disorder.”
Homophobia: A Rejection of Same-sex Attraction
Jenan, a 26-year-old lesbian residing in Syria, shared with Muwatin her struggles with her mother, who persistently urges her to pay more attention to her appearance and subjects her to bullying. “She constantly critiques my attire, questioning, ‘What are you wearing?’ She criticizes, ‘Those are men’s clothes, those shoes are for men, and they’re not appropriate for a girl.'”
She elaborates, “The remarks can be even cruder, and what’s worse is that some relatives, neighbors, and acquaintances visiting our home openly display their homophobia as if same-sex attraction were the root of all the wars and crises we endure.”
She adds, “They question my mother, ‘Why does your daughter dress like that? Make sure she doesn’t prefer girls.’ It’s a relentless daily ordeal. And then there’s the outcry and commotion I face when entering public restrooms. Mistaken for a male, I now ensure they’re empty before I go in to avoid causing any disturbance!”
Homophobia is starkly evident in Arab societies (among others), as highlighted in Jenan’s narrative, prompting a critical inquiry: What motivates such intense aversion and hostility, sometimes escalating to acts of brutality? A case in point occurred in Senegal in October 2023, where a mob exhumed and set ablaze the grave of an individual they believed was gay.
The psychoanalytic perspective on homophobia posits that it might stem from a defense mechanism triggered by an unconscious, unacknowledged attraction to individuals of the same sex. Essentially, this viewpoint suggests that those who exhibit homophobic behavior might be experiencing an irrational fear or hatred towards homosexuality, driven by their own veiled attraction to the same sex, feeling threatened, or experiencing revulsion as a consequence of this attraction.
I Was Certain They Would Renounce Me
Amna, a 28-year-old lesbian whose circle of friends is predominantly heterosexual, shared her poignant experience with Muwatin: “I reside in a village where homosexuality is deemed both a criminal offense and a sacrilege, leading me to endure considerable fear and psychological stress. This is compounded by the isolation of not having anyone to confide in.”
She goes on to say, “During my early teens, all of my friends were heterosexual and displayed homophobic tendencies. At one point, I attempted to reveal to them that one of our schoolmates was gay; they responded with a barrage of insults towards her. It was at that moment I realized the harsh rejection I would face if I shared my own truth with them. Given that we were all in our early twenties, I decided it was best to wait.”
She further explained, “I aimed to deepen my bond with them. They are kind-hearted individuals, shaped largely by societal and religious norms. Our get-togethers at home became more frequent, with me hosting them for conversations, fun activities, card games, and smartphone games. As our relationship grew stronger, I also offered numerous services related to my profession to their parents and acquaintances. I assisted them with household chores during holidays and special occasions, which brought me significantly closer to them.”
The real-life interactions between individuals and gay and lesbian people often challenge and debunk the prevalent stereotypes surrounding homosexuality, which are a significant source of hostility towards LGBTQ+ individuals. By diminishing ignorance, these positive personal experiences have a psychological and emotional effect, encouraging heterosexual individuals to adopt a more accepting and empathetic stance towards other lesbians and gay men.
Despite Malaysia being a predominantly Muslim country, I was taken aback to find a mosque led by a gay imam, faced with no public outcry.
Reflecting on the evolution of attitudes towards homosexuality, Richard Billard, a psychiatry professor at the University of Rochester School of Medicine, shared in one of his blog posts that during his medical studies in the 1950s, discussions about homosexuals were confined to contexts like prisons and mental hospitals, leading to the prevailing belief that homosexuality was entirely aberrant.
He further noted, “In the late 1960s, with the expansion of civil rights to include people of color, women, and eventually gay individuals, I came to the realization that they are just like everyone else. I believe that nowadays, most people have gay friends or acquaintances.”
Homosexuality as a Developmental Phase in Sexual Identity
Samer, a 33-year-old gay man residing in an Arab country, recounts the experience of his heterosexual friend, Murad, who has recently wed a woman motivated by genuine love and commitment. Murad shared with Samer about a phase in his early life, during his school days before reaching sexual maturity, when he harbored romantic feelings for a male peer. He recalls feeling jealous whenever someone else would get close to this friend. However, as Murad transitioned into middle school and, subsequently, high school, these feelings gradually dissipated and eventually became a forgotten chapter of his past.
Murad conveyed to Samer his profound love for his wife, acknowledging that the feelings he experienced during his youth occurred involuntarily, without his conscious choice. This personal journey has enabled Murad to comprehend and empathize with Samer’s situation, recognizing that being gay is not a result of a deliberate decision, disbelief, or any similar reason.
Numerous studies indicate that a significant number of individuals, particularly males, undergo queer experiences at some point from adolescence through to later life. For some, their initial encounter with same-sex attraction or activity does not occur until adulthood.
For many, queer experiences serve as milestones in their journey of self-discovery and maturation. This aligns with the understanding that adolescence is a time of significant change, where individuals explore their identity and discern their desires for their future adult lives. It’s important to recognize that all feelings in this realm are valid and natural; they are a reflection of who you are.
In time, individuals who identify as gay come to understand that their exclusive attraction to the same sex is a permanent aspect of their identity. Similarly, heterosexuals recognize their exclusive attraction to the opposite sex, while bisexual individuals acknowledge their attraction to both sexes. Personal acceptance and understanding that one’s sexual orientation is entirely normal is a crucial step toward achieving a sense of stability and self-acceptance.
Humans Fear What They Do Not Know
Jamal Dawoud, a 38-year-old civil engineer and filmmaker, recalls his initial encounters with homosexuality, which were limited to hearsay: “In Damascus, we would occasionally notice young men congregating in Shaalan, commonly referred to in defamatory names. I was indifferent towards them. However, my move to Malaysia in 2010 presented a stark contrast; I transitioned from a society that deemed homosexuals as outcasts and mentally unwell to one that embraced millions of LGBTQ+ individuals with open arms. It was here I first learned about the existence of transgender people.”
Reflecting on his fears of homosexuality, Jamal notes, “Despite Malaysia being a predominantly Muslim country, I was taken aback to find a mosque led by a gay imam, faced with no public outcry, and to see openly gay professors at the university. My time here has been an eye-opening experience, confronting my preconceived notions. Encountering LGBTQ+ individuals on the street initially left me with an inexplicable apprehension, prompting me to physically distance myself, as though fearing some form of personal harm.”
In summary, scientific research firmly establishes that homosexuality is neither a disease needing treatment nor a societal conspiracy or epidemic requiring defense. It represents a facet of human existence manifested through sexual diversity. Just as heterosexual individuals experience attraction to the opposite sex, LGBTQ+ individuals embody this orientation naturally; such attractions are not governed by willpower or personal choice.
While LGBTQ+ individuals might represent a minority, their presence weaves through the annals of history, underscoring that no society is devoid of LGBTQ+ members; they are a vital component of the societal fabric.